Hindi Super Jokes

Na tu Sayar hai na tu sayar ka bhatija hai... Na tu Sayar hai na tu sayar ka bhatija hai... Tu tere maa baap ke manoranjan ka natija hai. (Characters count:138 )

Chhote: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai! Bade: Mujhe uska naam pata hai. Chhote: Kya naam hai? Bade: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha “CHAALU KHAATA” (Characters count:183 )

Ek pathan apne kandhe pe bandar baitha ke ja raha tha. Ek bande ne puchha, Ye kaun sa janwar hai? .... .... Bandar bola PATHAN. (Characters count:140 )

Kanjoos boss 2 worker: Tumne is saal mehnat se kaam kia hai, is liye 5000 ka bonus cheque de raha hoon. Agar isi tarha kaam karoge to agle saal is pe sign bhi kar dunga. (Characters count:170 )

Ladki ka baap: Main nahi chahata ki meri ladki apni poori life ek gadhe ke saath guzaare. Ladki ka BF: isiliye to main usse shaadi kar ke yahan se le jaana chahata hoon. (Characters count:186 )

chaand ko tod doonga suraj ko fod doonga agar tu haan kah de to pahali wali ko chhod doonga. (Characters count:92 )

Ek police Inspector ke ghar chori ho rahi thi. Wife: Utho ji, ghar mein chori ho rahi hai. Police Inspector: Mujhe sone de, main iss time duty par nahi hoon. (Characters count:158 )

Sunil ne usse rok kar poocha: Arre bhai esa kyu kar rahe ho, kyu nanga bhag rahe ho, tumhe sharam nahi aati? Anil: Kyu ki aaj tum jaldi ghar aagaye, Issi liye. (Characters count:160 )

Maalik: Tum bathroom mein kyu ghus aaye, Kya tumhe pata nahi tha ki mein naha raha hoon? Naukar: Hazur galti ho gayi, mein samjha tha begum sahiba hai. (Characters count:152 )

Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phansi di jayegi. Sardar: Ha ha ha! Police: Kyu hass rahe ho? Sardar: Main toh subah 8 baje tak sota hoon! (Characters count: 138)

Ek 10 saal ka bachha dhyan se ek book pad raha tha, jiska title tha: “Kids ka paalan poshan kaise kare”. Mother: Tum yeh book kyon pad rahe ho. Kid: Main yeh dekh raha tha ke mera paalan poshan theek tara se ho raha hai ya nahi. (Characters count: 229)

Teacher: Late kyo aaye ho? Santa: Mumy papa lad rhe the Techr: wo lad rhe the to tum kyo late aaye? santa: mera 1 juta maumy k pass or Dusra papa k paas tha! (Characters count: 158)

1Baccha Paida Hote Hi Nurse s Bola-MOBILE h Kya? Nurse:-Hai Par Tu Kya Karega Baccha: Bas GOD Ko Ek CALL Karni Hai Ki Mai Pahuch Gaya hu. Meri Wali ko Bhej Do (Characters count: 157)

A sardar learning English introduces his family in the party: Hi! I am sardar, This is my sardarni, He is my kid, and…. she is my kidney. (Characters count: 139)

Ghar me khushiya na ho to ghar suna lagta hai, Jab tak aap ko sms na kar de, din adhura sa lagta hai. (Characters count: 102)

Principal: If any boy is found in or around girl's hostel, he will be fined Rs 300 for first time, Rs 500 for second time & Rs 800 for third time. Student: How much will you charge for monthly pass, sir ? (Characters count: 206)

Hindi class mein master ki pant ki zip khuli dekh Ladkiyan zor se hasne lagi. Masterji bole: Zyada hehe ki to bahar nikaal kar khada kar doonga. (Characters count: 147)

Pranav Mukharji (Finance Minister) Ne Ek Bar Callgirl Se Pucha. Mukharji: Kitna Leti Ho?” Callgirl: “Aage Ka 200 Aur Peche Ka 220” Mukharji Hairani Se: “Areey Piche Ka 220 Kyu?” Callgirl: “10% Turnover Tax“ (Characters count:209 )

Ek Baar Pati Or Uski Patni Decide Karte Hain Ki Sex Karne Ke Baad Gullak Mein Paise Dalenge. After A Month. Pati Patni Gullak Kholte Hai. Pati: “Maine 10/- Ke Note Dale Thhe, Yeh 500/-, 100/-, 50/- Ke Kahaan Se Aaye?” Patni: “Har Koi Tumhari Tarah Kanjoos Thodi Hi Hota Hai“ (Characters count: 275)

Suhagrat Ko Pati Ka Khada Nahi Ho Raha Thha, Patni Ne Usko Muh Mein Le Liya Aur Koshish Ki Par Fir Bhi Baat Nahi Bani. Husband Ko Ye Dekhar Gussa Aaya Aur Bola: “Durr Hatt Ja, Haatho Ke Bhoot Honto Se Nahi Maante“ (Characters count: 214)

Ek Ladki Tailor Ke Paas Suit Silvane gai. Tailor (Fitting Ka Naap Lete Hue):- “Koi Boyfriend Hai?” Girl:- “Haan, Kyon?” Tailor:- Use Bolna Thode Din Left Side Pe Jyada Dhyaan De, Fitting Sahi Baithegi“ (Characters count: 203)

Boy to friend: Dekho voh ladki meri taraf dekh ke muskura rahi hai. Friend: Yeh to kutch bhi nahi, jab maine pehli bar tumari shakal dekhi thi to 3 din apni hassi nahi rok paya tha. (Characters count: 182)

Judge: Tum apni limit cross kar rahe ho. Lawyer: Kaun saala aisa kehta hai? Judge: Tum ne muje sala bola? Lawyer: Nahi My Lord, maine pucha KAUN SA LAW aisa kehta hai? (Characters count:168 )

Boy: Mein tumare sath shaadi nahi kar sakta. Ghar wale nahi maan rahe. Girl: Tumhare ghar mein kon kon hai. Boy: Ek biwi aur 2 kids. (Characters count: 136)

2 gals bus mein 1 seat ke liye lad rahi thee 1 Ladka: Kyun lad rahi ho? Tum me se jo age mein badi ho, wo beth jaye. Simple! Aur girls sare rastay khari rahin. (Characters count: 160)

Girl to doctor: meri skin bohat soft aur sensitive hay, mera rung bhi bohat gora hay, mein raat ko kia laga kar soya karoon? Doctor: KUNDI :-D (Characters count: 144)

Wife: Chalo na aaj hum bahar chalte hain aur car me drive karungi…. Husband:Iska matlab hum jayenge car me aur ayenge akhbar me …: (Characters count: 133)

4 shraabi 1 janaze ko uthakr jaldi jaldi kabro k upr se ja rahe the, Kisi ne kha-"Oye sharm kro niche Murde h" SHRABI-To upr konsa humne WORLD CUP utha rkha ha1.! (Characters count: 134)

Prito: Mere hont bahut phat gaye hai, kuch lagane ke liye la dena Santa: lo tumhare phate hoton ko jorane ke liye Fevicoal laya hun (Characters count: 132)

Santa: Sote waqt scale lekar soya Banta:Tum scale kyon lekar soye Santa: me dekhna chaahat hu ki mein kitna lamba sota hun. (Characters count: 123)

Santa apni biwi ko maar raha tha.. ek admi ne pucha kyu maar rahe ho ?? Santa : Docter ne kaha hai, isko dawai koot ke deni hai (Characters count: 128)

PATI:Kaash main GANPATI hota tum 111- din tak meri puja karti Modak, Ladookhilati.... PATNI:Haan kaash aisa hota fir har saal Visarjan ke saal NAYA pati lati. (Characters count:160 )

Teacher:-Batao Mahatma Gandhi kaha paida huye, aur unhone talim kaha hasil ki?. Papu:-Ji wo hospital mein paida huye aur school mein talim hasil ki. (Characters count: 149)

train ke toilet me likha tha dunia chand par pahuch gayi h or tum yahi baithe ho, santa us ke niche likh kar aaya bas dho kar ja raha hoo (Characters count:138 )

Banta para-shoot bech raha tha.. Plane se koodo, batan dabao aur aap jameen par safe land kar jaaoge. Customer:Agar parashoot na khula to? Banta:To aapke paise vapis!! Character count: 165

Santa: 1 aurat ko ghurte hue ja raha tha.. Aurat: "Dekhta kya h ? Teri maa ki umar ki hu Santa: To mai b apne baap k liye he dhund raha hu. (Characters count:144 )

Ek Girl Apne Boy Friend Ko Romantic Mood Mein Meessage Karti Hai. Girl: "Agar Tum So Rahe Ho To Mujhe Apne Sapne Bhejo, Jaag Rahe Ho To Yaaden Bhejo, Ro Rahe Ho To Aansoon Bhejo" Boy Replies: "Potty Kar Raha Hoon – Bhejun" (Characters count:224 )

Beta: papa papa!! Baap: Kitni bar kaha hai khate waqt bolte nahi.. Khana khane hone ke baad.. Baap: Ab bolo kya baat hai? Beta: Aapki daal mein makkhi thi. (Characters count: 155)

Teri zulfo mein kho jaana chahata hoon… Teri zulfo mein kho jaana chahata hoon… Par tu tel hi itna lagati hai ki har bar fisal jata hoon.. :) :) (Characters count: 144)

Rab se dua karte hain, ki mere doston ko khushiyon ka sansar mile.. Aur jo mujhe message nahi karte, unhen apni GIRLFRIEND se, BHAI jaisa pyar Mile.. (Characters count:155 )

Sardar suicide karne rail line ke pass batha tha. Pass mein sharab & chicken pada tha. A man: Ye sab kya hai? Sardar: Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na mar jaun!

Bhikhari: Sahib ik rupaiya de do. Sahib: Kal anna. Bhikhari: Iss kal kal ke chakkar mein iss colony mein mere lakhon rupaiye fasse hue hai! (Characters count: 139)

Ek Bewafa ki Yaad Me Humne Hathon Me JAM Utha Liya. Phir Lagaya Bread Pe Or fatafat Kha liya Note: Sare AASHIQ Bevde NAHI HOTE KUCH BHUKE BHI HOTE HAIN!!!

Sangeet ke saath Awaaz, Phool ke saath khushboo, Jism ke saath Rooh, Khushi ke saath Ghum, Aur aap ko tang karne ke liye Hum har lamha har dam...!!

Ek aadmi ka beta bizli ke bulb par apne papa ka naam likh raha tha. Aadmi: Beta, ye kya kar rahe ho? Beta: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.

Kiss is not like Nokia…Connecting People Kiss is not like Nike… Just Do It. Kiss is not like Pepsi… Yeh Dil Maange More But Kiss is like Pan Parag… Ek Se Mera Kya Hoga.

Sardar: Hamne Mobile Marrige Bureau shuru kiya hai: "Rishtey k liye 1 dabaye, Mangni k liye 2 dabye, Shadi k liye 3 dabye." Desi Man: Hum Dusri Shadi k liye kya dabaun? Sardar: Dusri shadi k liye pehle wali ka gala dabye.